28/05: It’s Saturday. It’s a rainny Saturday. Everybody is outside partying and I’m at home. That’s not the problem, that’s not the really problem. I’ll tell you where the problem is: Me. Only me. At this time I am mad with me. But I’ll try to change this madness into power to impulse myself into emprovement.
I am mad with me because everyday is the same history. Everyday I make plans. Everyday I don’t do it. And I’m tired of this improductiveness! I’m about to have a tough week. I see no prosperity in any area of my life right now. I know I do look pessimistic seeing things at this way. BUT I DO REALLY NEED TO CHANGE!
I don’t know where to start. All I know that there is much work to do! I’ll have one thing in mind: If there’s suffering it says that’s a CALL for HEALING. So, first of all, I thank you Universe for this opportunity and I ask for permission to begin this change of habits!
So, I’ll begin with some questions: HEALING – BEHAVIOR
1 – What exactly is bothering you right now?
Well, let’s begin. I know there’s looootss of things I am grateful for in my life, for everything that has been happening and the people that entered in my life, and all the proccess I am taking, and I do thank God\Universe every morning by that! BUT, BUUUUT… There’s to MUCH (to doesn’t say EVERYTHING) I could do better! And there’s still to MUCH to heal\change on here. I do really get pissed off the way of my organization is, and my controlling of time, it makes me so unpruductive, and I spend all day thinking on how bad it is and reading how I could change this and imagining how my life would be if I could change that. EVERYDAY I end my day having zero studies, zero organization and procrastinating everything I have to do until the LAST minute. Ending in zero quality, frustation with me and believing that I am in the wrong course because I show no ability for that. LET ME ASK YOU, do you really think ABILITIES COMES FROM THE SKY? Yeah my dear you really grow up with them inside of you but you have to DEVELOP IT with so much discipline, EFFORT and compromission!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOO, you can see now how why things doesn’t work. Well, this is an area of my life that is bothering me. It is to be at class and having no attention, it is getting close to tests and having zero studies, is getting up at home and having NO ORGANIZATION, is feeding me bad, is spend too much money in things I could avoid spending, it is spending my life sending energy to my MIND. Time is precious, my dear. Your life is a unique opportunity and I AM GIVING YOU A CALL, that you really need to change it NOW. You don’t need to think in what you have to do, which way you need to go, you just need to get things ON PRACTICE. With DISCIPLINE, COMPROMISSION AND EFFORT. And then, if doing that as a habit, if things doesn’t work, you can say that you’re in the wrong course. Well, do I need to say that this area reflects in all others? All I can see is that your priorities is all wrong, you do spend money in wrong things, you do give priority for the wrong persons, send energy to the wrong relationships. Ok, it’s totally okay to make mistakes, but NOW you have to LEARN the lesson and DEVELOP yourself. It’s time for changing. May was a great month with a great purpose. You got the necessary knowledge for Jun. YOU DO REALLY NEED MAKE THINGS RIGHT THIS TIME! I mean, you have the necessary to organize yourself, your time and your life. This is the area of your life that is claiming for help right now. So, please, accept the call, try to improve it! Compromise yourself in this development! Take that as a job! I forgive myself now, for everything I have done. For every day that I had spent thinking useless things. For every work I had procrastinate. For every negativity I had about me. It’s time to change! It’s time to reconnect that I am not this! I need to begin that by the root! And I’ll do that! Jun will be a special month and I believe in this! It’s time to open the doors, it’s time to make the job, to make things happen, to change what bothers me, to reinvent me, to REBORN! It’s always possible, the only responsible for that is JUST YOU! So, please, come with me? I accept, I thank and I forgive! It’s all part of my proccess. My only proccess. My nature proccess. It doesn’t need to be equal of others. It’s my proccess. My learning. My lessons. So GO ON! Without comparisson, without blaming. What I can REALLY do is to not let it happen again! I’ll start working with little tasks and projects, with goals and time organization. I have nothing to lose because I’m in the rock bottom. I do thank Universe for the learning ❤ I’ll take that as a responsability! A job! A commitment with myONLYself! And I’m sure it will reflect in the outside and will attract all the good possibilites for me. I belive in that. I have faith in that. I’ll use all the knowledge you gave me, Universe. I’ll use that in a good way, to impulse me and help others! It’s time to put things in practice! JUN WILL BE AN AWESOME MONTH! As the others were for my proccess! “It’s everything good. This I know. It’s always possible to change and grow up!”